Dirty Jokes

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by melissa052 on Fri Sep 10, 2010 5:16 am

Saw this and cracked up!
guy: why are you cutting your hair?
girl: cuz, if I cut it in half, it grows even longer..
guy: REALLY? is that true?
girl: yeahh..?
10 minutes later..
Paramedics Doctor: Now, explain to me again why you tried cutting your dick in half?
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:04 am

Lol good one. And here are some conspiracy theories

www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/basic100923.gif" alt="" />
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by joselin4life on Fri Sep 10, 2010 12:01 pm

Rex wrote:Lol good one. And here are some conspiracy theories

www.cracked.com/articleimages/ob/basic100923.gif" alt="" />

Haha that was funny Very Happy
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:33 pm

The gid that keep on giving


Spoiler:



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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by melissa052 on Fri Sep 10, 2010 10:41 pm

Rexy... For number 7, I now love you forever and ever! Wink


A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy.
Before the procedure the nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off.
When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys.
The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him.
Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about.
As the nurse is getting dressed she informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy, if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vas is easier for the surgeon to locate and
sever.
The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room.
While they are going down the hall the patient sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there"?
The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care.
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Fri Sep 10, 2010 11:01 pm

Lol. I want this healthcare Wink

Ok now for some Captain Planet!

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:27 am



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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Unit7 on Wed Sep 15, 2010 3:15 pm

lmao I love the Harry Potter one, oh and the Captain Planet one. I remember as a kid I would always watch Captain Planet.

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Thu Sep 16, 2010 2:03 am

The Harry Potter/South Park one Wink

And here are your last moments

Spoiler:

Life is absolutely unpredictable. None of us do not know what lies around the corner. Will someone stand on one’s skirt while crosses the street at a red light, or whether air conditioner will fall on the someone’s head, while it admires the dress in the window, or whether someone will fall into manhole and become a Ninja Turtle… Therefore, we should arm ourselves with cameras and wait for successful last photo! P.S. Of course, the mounted material, in this case, is preferable than the original.






























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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Hannah_Banana222 on Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:28 am

A man invents a folding bottle. When applying for a patent, the guy asks what he calls it. "A fottle," he says.

"That's stupid," the other dude tells him.

"I also invented a folding carton. I call it a farton," the inventor says.

"You can't name it that. It sounds rude."

"Well then you'll hate the name of my folding bucket."
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:15 pm

So wrong but so funny

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Unit7 on Fri Sep 24, 2010 1:17 pm

Thats hillarious. Poor Kid though Sad

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Tue Sep 28, 2010 10:50 pm

A blind man, traveling with some RVing friends decides to take a walk from the campground they are staying at and walks into an all girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells out ,"Hey, you wanna hear a blond joke?"

The bar falls absolutely silent. In a deep husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair--given that you are blind--that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blond girl.

3. I'm a 6 feet tall, 175 lb. blond woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional weightlifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks a second, shakes his head and mutters,

"No. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Unit7 on Tue Sep 28, 2010 11:20 pm

Probably the best blond joke I have heard in a long time. Very Happy

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Wed Sep 29, 2010 5:33 am

Dude you are breaking the rules rendeer

Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and
you were only 17?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is touched thinking her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when
you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:48 am

Bet you a virtual cookie you won't guess how this one ends Smile

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Rex on Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:35 pm

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Re: Dirty Jokes

Post by Unit7 on Mon Dec 20, 2010 12:41 pm

Can't really blame Watson. How often does Holmes give Watson such an easy and obvious question to answer? Of course he had to think big.

Which makes Holmes and ass. Razz

...

Actually I dunno. I have only partially read one of the Holmes books.

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Re: Dirty Jokes

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