i need someone to talk to...

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i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Sat Oct 22, 2011 8:18 pm

hi all! i haven't been on in a long time but i'm going through a terrible week right now and i really need someone to talk to. either talk about it and give me advice or just take my mind off of it. either way would help me tremendously. Razz
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by Malletmusic17 on Sat Oct 22, 2011 8:52 pm

I'll talk!

I'm headed to bed but I will message back tomorrow Smile
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by Rex on Sat Oct 22, 2011 9:25 pm

I am up for all three. Advice ,talking distraction everything Smile You can pm me if you don't want to talk out in the open
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Sun Oct 23, 2011 1:00 pm

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, we started going out in high school and after 6 months I had to go off to college. Things have been really hard trying to maintain a long distance relationship and I just found out he has been lying to me about a lot in the past month...I am really torn because I love him and want to stay with him, but he has hurt me so bad and all my friends say I have to let him gko but I don't want to
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by Malletmusic17 on Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:45 pm

jessixxfan wrote:My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, we started going out in high school and after 6 months I had to go off to college. Things have been really hard trying to maintain a long distance relationship and I just found out he has been lying to me about a lot in the past month...I am really torn because I love him and want to stay with him, but he has hurt me so bad and all my friends say I have to let him gko but I don't want to

honestly, to that I say follow your gut-feeling, not your heart. if you feel this stuff he lied about is really hurtful, and you won't be able to forget it (such as cheating) then maybe it is best to let him go. someone who has hurt you and lied to you is obviously not good enough for you.
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:49 pm

I don't know if it is exactly considered cheating...but he went to a party to blow off steam and danced with a bunch of random girls who were grabbing him in inappropiate places and having him touch them in inappropiate places. And he bragged to his friend about it and talked about how insanely hot they all were. :/
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by Malletmusic17 on Sun Oct 23, 2011 4:07 pm

jessixxfan wrote:I don't know if it is exactly considered cheating...but he went to a party to blow off steam and danced with a bunch of random girls who were grabbing him in inappropiate places and having him touch them in inappropiate places. And he bragged to his friend about it and talked about how insanely hot they all were. :/

that hurts :/ the big question is, do you still trust him?
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by AshleyMC on Sun Oct 23, 2011 6:13 pm

I say that you are still young and there are more guys out there. If you feel like you can't trust him, then there's no reason to stay with him.
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Sun Oct 23, 2011 10:41 pm

Talk to him about it. Ask him how he would feel if it was the other way around; if you were dancing with other guys and you were touching each other inappropriately. I'd guilt trip him and make him feel like the scum of the earth. Do you know for a fact that he did what he did? Or was the story elaborated for his buddies? Guys tend to talk a lot of shit when they're around friends. These ladies he's referring to were probably ugly hoes.

But if you feel that you can't trust him, let him go. Ten months may seem like a lot to just throw away, but honestly, it's not. You're in your first year of college, you're going to meet a lot of new people. It's a possibility that you'll meet somebody better, somebody who won't do something that he knows will hurt you. Do you think your boyfriend would go further with one of these "hot" girls if given the chance? If the answer is yes, or if you're not sure, then give serious thought to dumping the shithead.

Major props to you for trying to keep a long distance relationship going. I couldn't, I'm too much of a cynical bitch when it comes to my own life. Laughing

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by Rex on Sun Oct 23, 2011 11:00 pm

Well first the bro code compels me to come to his defense and do say that there was no scoring and thus this can't be considered cheating(especially if you go by the code system)

Now that my bro duty is finished my real advice. Dump his ass. Yes yes I know. You area not dumb. You know that this is probably for the best but you can't ignore your feelings who tell you to hold on but look I am sorry to say this but we guys are a bit of an assholes. Oh sure there are a few of us who might be more decent blokes but those don't grind with random girls when their girlfriend is out of town. The simple truth is that about one in a thousand distance relationship works. And the number becomes one in a million when college is involved. Your guys is on the cheat on your sooner or later if he hasn't already done it. (especially if he is in college is her?)

You are just wasting your truly precious time in college with this guy. So dump him and enjoy college truly. And my advice? When you are getting over him in college and do the traditional get drunk and get laid it might be better to start experimenting with girls. When it comes to boys the combination of alcohol and sex might not be very satisfactory to you not to mention you can both forget protection but with girls there is less of a problem


And on a semi more positive note you are still young. Breaking up with him now doesn't mean you will never see each other together. If this is a guy who is fit to be your one you will get back together even if it's after 5 or 10 years.
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Sun Oct 23, 2011 11:59 pm

update:

we talked. and before i tell you what we decided...i do still trust him. and it was hard for me to pass judgement until i heard what he had to say about it. i knew it was true because i too did something possibly dumb and terrible but i peaked at his facebook messages and saw him talking about it with a friend. so we both did crappy things. now, we talked and i asked him about the other girls and he said it meant nothing and he was just trying to blow off steam because we had a fight that night or something. he says he feels really sh***y about it now. and i asked him how he would feel if it was the other way around, and he said we would be just as upset. so we both talked and we both decided we didn't want to break up. we are going to take a break for a week, just to have some time to ourselves and to think and after this week, we are going to talk more into how to try and have a fresh start and put these mistakes we both made behind us. to back off a little and slow down and try to figure out better ways to handle this distance thing.

i know i know most of you said i should let him go. so did my friends. but it is hard for anyone to really be in my mindset for this. and my gut feeling is to give it another shot.

edit:
it's just hard to just leave him and move on and forget about him. we've only been together for 10 months but before that we were really close friends for a year. so this is almost 2 years where he has been a huge part of my life and no one knows him like i do and i just felt that there was another shot for us.
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:20 am

Ultimately it's up to you what to do. Looking at it from an outsiders point of view it looks bad, but you know the inner workings of your relationship. Details that we don't know. So if you feel that continuing on is what's best for you, go for it.

My boyfriend and I have had major problems in the past. Worse than grinding on a chick at a party. He became emotionally involved with someone. It's been over a year since the incident and we're still working through it. Even though everyone around me said to move on, I chose to stick with him because we had been together for almost three years and I know he's a better person than that. It forced us to really take a step back and look at our relationship, and really talk to each other; something that neither of us are good at. I now have major goddamn trust issues, but it brought us closer together.

Oh and don't feel bad for taking a peek at his messages. If you have a hunch and you have no other way to get answers, use it. If he's that dumb to put it in writing, then it's his own fault.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:58 am

thanks for the advice everyone! i feel really good about my decision. if it works out, then we will both be glad we gave it another chance and if it doesn't then at least we gave it another shot. i didn't want to have "what if's" running through my head and regretting my decision.

despite everything this is going to be a tough week, taking a break from him. i'm so used to talking to him every day. but i have a busy week so hopefully i can get be distracted and have a little fun.
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:22 pm

on another note, i have a boss who owes me a paycheck. he was supposed to pay me a week ago but he withheld it because he thinks someone is stealing money from him so he refuses to pay anyone until he figures it out...i didn't steal anything and i need that money...i've got bills to pay! what to doooo??
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:40 pm

Hrmm, that's kind of a difficult situation. Well, I would first talk to him about it in private. Explain to him that you have bills to pay and you need your money. It's not fair to you that you're getting punished for something you didn't do.

Is there somebody higher up that you can speak to if he still refuses? I've always worked in retail. My boss always had a boss.

I don't know what the laws are, but it doesn't sound legal to withhold someone's check when it hasn't been proven that they've done anything wrong. You can threaten with small claims court, but I doubt you'd still have a job after that one.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:48 pm

my boss has his own small business so there is no one really higher up...i work at a cart doing temporary tattoos on the beach. Razz i just emailed him about it and asked and i'll what he says Razz
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Mon Oct 24, 2011 7:55 pm

That sounds like an awesome job! Have you been there long? If you're a good, reliable worker you can use that to your advantage in persuading him to give you your check.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:03 am

so another employee apparently told the boss that i admitted to stealing from him once. that i've wrote down a price lower than what i've charged the tattoo and take the difference for myself. WTH?!? i've never stolen anything in my life, i've never had a reason to steal money from work and it really sucks that someone said something like that. :/
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:25 am

Wow that's shitty. I hope your boss is smart enough to realize that the person pointing fingers is usually the guilty one.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Thu Oct 27, 2011 11:50 am

this has been a real shitty past two weeks. :/
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Thu Oct 27, 2011 3:04 pm

Well hang in there. Things will eventually get better Smile . Has your boss gotten things sorted out yet? Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to start looking for a new job just in case, he either has to pay you or let you go. And if you need the money, better cover your butt.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Thu Oct 27, 2011 3:17 pm

He paid me commission instead of minimum wage. Which is like $130 less. I plan on finding a new job. He insulted me and accused me of other things too and it isn't right
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Thu Oct 27, 2011 4:30 pm

That's a lot of money for something you didn't even do. I'd probably tell him to take his job and shove it. There's a lot of seasonal jobs around now, you should be able to find something quick while you look for something more permanent.

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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by jessixxfan on Thu Oct 27, 2011 7:05 pm

and the shittiness continues. just got a call from my parents that my uncle is dying from cancer. they are flying out along with my brother and we are all going to go see him before he passes. :/
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Re: i need someone to talk to...

Post by xChorusOfAngelsx on Thu Oct 27, 2011 9:12 pm

I'm sorry Sad
Losing a loved one is always tough. I'm sure having you all there to see him before he passes will mean a lot to him.

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